You think you know each other, but have you ever really asked and listened?

In the course of running errands one day, I ran into three members of my small (under-100 member) church. The first person had recently been named to head the congregational care committee. When I asked her about her new job she replied, “It will be easy, we all know everything about each other.”

Later I met a member who was beginning his 20 th year as a Sunday school teacher. He said, “You know, I’ve been teaching so long that nobody thinks I can do anything else. I would love to use my handyman skills at church and take a break from teaching, but I don’t know how to tell everyone I want to do something new.”

The third member told me she was completing a program to become certified in Web design. “I haven’t told anyone at church,” she said. “Everyone thinks of me as the accounting person. I’d love to quit being treasurer and develop a Web site for our church. But if I quit, who’d be treasurer?”

This is a common problem in small churches where many people are long-time members. People fall into roles, and—because the church is small—the tendency is to keep people in those roles. Volunteering becomes a duty, and people serve out of a sense of guilt. Motivation drops and eventually people quit (or worse, leave!) because they’re so burned out.

This is not good ministry. Each member brings different talents and gifts to the Body of Christ, and these abilities change over time. Helping people use their skills and gifts is part of genuine, caring ministry that builds up the Church. Good people ministry involves asking, listening, and then responding.

Wonderful things happen when members of small churches take time to look at each other with fresh eyes. Some ideas for implementing a “fresh eyes” approach:

• Raise awareness. Conduct a “fresh eyes” campaign, encouraging all members to drop their assumptions and really listen to their fellow members’ hearts.
• Start a column in your church newsletter that features a member each month. Include information about interests and hobbies—especially those others might not know about. Ask the question, “What’s something you’d love to do at church that you’ve never done or been asked to do?”
• Conduct a class on spiritual gifts. Follow up with a session where members share with each other their discoveries.
• Conduct one-on-one interviews with all members of the congregation, going beyond the superficial assumptions.

Nancy Giehl is with Volunteer Management Associates in Boulder, Colorado.

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