Caught between a Rock and a Senior Pastor

What do you do when you’re trapped between your children’s ministry’s standards and the wishes of your boss?

This question came in from a children's pastor at a very young church. “What happens when you just don't get the people you need to do children's ministry properly? Do you cancel classes until you’re ready? What about when your pastor is pushing you to do it anyway? Is it ever okay to try to tell him no?”

She is in a rough spot. She knows that it’s simply not wise—or even safe—to place too many children in an understaffed room. Placing only one volunteer in the classroom simply isn’t acceptable. It places both the volunteer and the church in jeopardy if any accusations of impropriety would be made. But on the other hand, her senior pastor has some valid concerns. Without an excellent and thriving children’s ministry, visiting parents will become discouraged and go to another church that’s able to meet their family’s needs.

So our reader would like to know if it’s ever okay to tell her pastor no.

That’s a tricky one! You can’t do the impossible and make volunteers materialize to meet your boss’s demands. On the other hand, Jim Wideman, author of Children’s Ministry Volunteers That Stick, once told me: “The only problems you have [as an assistant pastor in any role] are your pastor’s problems. You were hired to solve your pastor’s problems.”

The senior pastor might also begin to hear “You can’t get this done,” instead of, “It can’t be done.” It’s impossible for me to know if you can afford to spend those leadership chips to make a point.

So how do you get around this impasse? Let’s start by stepping back and looking at all of the ministry values in play.

Safety/Risk Management—We’ve already hit on this one. A children’s ministry stewards other people’s children. We owe it to the children to operate safe classrooms. Plus, it just takes one lawsuit to derail the vision and reputation of a church. If the church is young enough, it might not be adequately insured to handle a lawsuit.

Growth—Healthy things grow. And it’s important that the church organize itself to support the Great Commission. It is important that the children’s ministry eventually get to the point that it’s able to welcome new children.

Servanthood—Our reader is frustrated that her congregation isn’t pitching in and making the children’s ministry fantastic. It’s time to take the temperature of this new congregation. Do they understand the value of servanthood? Is this body made up of new believers who just don’t know they’re supposed to be serving? Or is the congregation largely people who fled other churches, perhaps having nightmare experiences before they left?

Equipping—The flip side of the value of servanthood is equipping. Your church wants servants, but is it effectively recruiting and developing them? Does the church help people identify their spiritual gifts, talents, and passions?

Children—Does the children’s ministry have a compelling vision and brand? Is excellence being communicated in everything that happens? Does the church understand how vital it is for the youngest generations to meet Jesus at an early age? Or do they view the children’s ministry as baby-sitting?

When we step back and take a global look at the issue, we can see that it’s not as simple as we first thought. Having a healthy, fully staffed children’s ministry is a systems issue. It definitely starts with the children’s pastor. Like it or not, the children’s pastor is responsible for the vitality of the children’s ministry—including staffed classrooms—whether he or she it getting support from the bigger system or not. But here are some tips on how to lead up in this situation.

• Privately rank how vibrantly your church champions each of the values listed above. Where are the problem areas? Does there need to be a sermon series on servanthood? And be ruthless when evaluating your own ministry. Are you doing everything you can to communicate a white-hot vision for children’s ministry? Do you need more training? Get a firm understanding of what the problem is and what your responsibility is (and is not) in solving it.

• Build common values with your senior pastor. I went through this learning curve. I was more sensitive to safety and risk issues while my executive pastor was more sensitive to growth and customer service issues.

The solution was twofold for me. First, I had to get very serious about my boss’s priorities. My only problems are his problems. I read, and still read, everything I can about customer service. I’ve discovered my “fall-down” areas and have an action plans for continual improvement.

Secondly, I’ve learned to communicate risk management issues in customer-service language. “Parents like our policies of screening volunteers and, yes, on rare occasions closing classrooms that we can’t safely staff. In spite of momentary frustration, they know their kids are safe.”

Become your pastor’s champion. Help him or her understand how your values support theirs.

• Create a common language of equipping. My church recently hosted a Church Volunteer Central Live! and it was a valuable experience for our staff. We all left with a common language with which to talk about volunteer issues.

Consider suggesting that your church attend a CVC Live! If you can’t get to one, suggest that your staff work through Sue Mallory’s book The Equipping Church and The Equipping Church Guidebook.

• Rank the values with your staff. You know what you believe the problems are. But what do others, such as your senior pastor, think? 

• Create a staffwide action plan. The senior pastor might plan a sermon series. The person in charge of assimilation might need to create a spiritual gifts class. You might be given platform time to cast the vision. Once the team owns the problem, you’ll see greater results.

And here’s a question for the association: What’s the most creative idea that you’ve used to show appreciation to a volunteer? Email me your ideas at Larry.Shallenberger@gmail.com. I’ll list as many of your ideas as I can in an upcoming article.

Larry Shallenberger is the pastor of children and student ministries at Grace Church in Erie, Pennsylvania.

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