Consultant's Corner

Dealing With Problem Children
Bob D'Ambrosio

Q: I have a question concerning discipline in children's ministry. Some of my volunteers, who are schoolteachers by profession, want to install a "three strikes and you're out" policy. After the third strike in a period of, say six months, the teacher would summon the parents and remove the child from the program. I don't agree with this concept. To me it tells the parents that we're not capable of handling their children, although I do think we should ask parents how to handle situations involving their children. Can you help me work through this?

A: It seems this situation needs balance. Professional schoolteachers often approach ministry with a different perspective since they operate under a more legalistic culture. What may be appropriate in a public school setting does not always transfer to ministry, since you want to function under grace to encourage their participation. However, if you're going to run a quality program, it must operate with standard policies that speak to issues of discipline, child safety, and appropriate behavior.

Do you currently have policies in place that outline a discipline procedure? Quality programs have established policies that govern expectations, guidelines, and standards for the students and staff. Church Volunteer Central has many sample policies that you can look at in the handbook section of our Web site. We also have several children's ministry examples from churches with policies clearly stating their expectations.

Your discipline policy and procedures should include the parents at some point, but from the perspective that they partner with you to achieve a desired goal. Don't put parents in a role as enforcer, as that sets them up for conflict with their own child. Parents need to work with your staff to achieve consistency and a positive outcome. Early intervention is best! At the first or second strike, the parents should be involved so they can reinforce what you are trying to accomplish. Perhaps at a certain point, the parents would be asked to attend class with their child to monitor behavior. Only in rare instances (where the safety of other children may be an issue) would you want to expel a student from class. The core of your mission is to reach out to kids with the gospel, and you can't do that if they're not there.

If you don't have a discipline policy, now would be the time to create one. Get input from the staff, your pastor, and your teachers, but allow your church governing body to make the final approval. You may also want to run the policy by your church legal advisor before you implement it with your staff.

In the book Simply Strategic Volunteers, Tony Morgan states, "Good policies and procedures actually remove barriers and enable volunteers to accomplish more ministry." Keep your policies simple and precise so your teachers will be able to take predefined steps to successful classroom management!

Bob D'Ambrosio serves as a volunteer leadership consultant with Church Volunteer Central after 25 years of experience in education, discipleship, and equipping ministry. For help with your volunteer questions, contact one of our ministry experts by clicking here.

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