Okay, you’ve prayed, written a well-crafted vision statement, ordered the perfect curriculum, and designed the most in-depth risk management program any church has ever seen. All the pieces are in place for something great to happen. So why aren’t people jumping at the chance to be a part of your ministry team?

My vocational journey has been a bit unusual. I hadn’t planned on being a children’s pastor, but only a year out of college I found myself in this new role. Early on, I understood that I was going to have to prove myself. I was 23 but looked 16, had no children of my own, and my educational background was music, not children. In that process I discovered that people not only have to be excited about the ministry I lead, they have to actually want to follow me as a leader. You may find yourself in a similar situation. Maybe you’re young and inexperienced. Maybe you’re following a just-retired, extremely loved, long-time children’s pastor. Maybe you’re just ready to give your ministry a total overhaul and need to get a good team behind you to make it happen. Wherever you find yourself, you can use some of these ideas to help people “buy in” to your leadership.

Proving Capability. Let’s face it, the people had no reason to believe in my ability to lead a children’s ministry. I had absolutely no experience, and when it came to kids, I knew almost nothing. I had to prove that I was capable of doing this job. When starting something new—especially if your leadership is unproven to the team—it’s important to start in an area where you know you will have success. Even a small success will help people begin to trust your leadership. I started with what I was good at: music. We began a yearly children’s Christmas musical. We made a huge deal of it, included all the kids plus some teens, and the parents just loved it. It was a huge success for our children’s ministry and for me, and leadership was noticeably easier after that. Find something you do well (big or small) and use that to get a success under your belt.

Being Real. I am the worship leader at our current church, and we have experienced some of the “worship wars” that come with change. As a result, some individuals were not inclined to be helpful with my ministry.At Christmas, I opened my home for a party and invited the entire church. Surprisingly, some of these individuals were in attendance, and afterward they were some of my biggest supporters! People need to see us as real people, not just leaders. When people recognize us as human beings with real lives and real feelings, it becomes much harder to speak ill of us or purposefully cause us problems. Open up your house to people. Host some volunteer training in your home. There’s something special about seeing people where they live; they become real.

Love People, Not Volunteers. When you’re more concerned about the work than the people who do it, they’ll see right through you. The truth is, I don’t click with everyone in my ministry. I wouldn’t choose to spend all my free time with them. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t important as human beings. Just as I want others to see me as a real person, I need to see others the same way.

One of the biggest ways you can show this is by giving people the freedom to say no. I had an awesome volunteer, who was a schoolteacher and a neat person. At one point—when we were greatly in need of children’s volunteers—she felt like she needed to work with the youth group, not the children’s class. When she came to me, I was careful not to make her feel guilty for her decision. I gained a lifelong friend, plus the support and trust of a longtime and well-respected member of our church. She ended up being an incredibly hard-working VBS volunteer. Never motivate people by guilt, and always let them go when they need to go.

Be Likeable. Ever serve under someone who was grumpy, hard to please, and just an unpleasant person in general? If you have, you probably didn’t stay very long.

I’m an introvert, and being around people for very long is exhausting. I’m not naturally outgoing. However, I know that people need to like me to follow me. Every Sunday I have to work extra hard to be overly friendly and kind to my volunteers. For me, that means popping my head into their classes before church to say “hi” and to make sure they have everything they need. I check with them after church to see how everything went, send occasional thank you notes or encouragement emails, and provide all their supplies every week so they have one less thing to worry about. Learn about your volunteers, find out what they enjoy and how you can best support them, and then do it. Simply be nice. Stay out of “in-charge” mode, slow down, smile, give hugs, shake hands, and ask questions.

I served as the children’s pastor of that first church for only about 9 months before leaving to support a church plant. But in that short time, I was able to recruit an entirely new staff of about 30 teachers, open a new class for our Pre-K and K kids, run an incredibly successful VBS program and Christmas musical, and completely revamp the focus of the entire ministry. I know it would have been impossible if people did not buy in to me personally, because my ideas can’t happen without others to stand by me and work alongside me.

I’m now 25, still look like I’m 16, and still have no children. I’m currently serving as the children’s pastor of a brand-new church that had its official launch on Easter Sunday of this year. I’m seeing all over again the need for people to perceive me as capable, real, loving of people, and a nice person. I recognize it as a process and am experiencing the struggles of encountering people who don’t know me yet, but I fully believe that with time and great effort, the people will trust me enough to follow me.

April Nissen has been serving in full-time ministry for seven years and is now serving as the children's pastor at Northwest Christian Church, a brand new church plant in Vancouver, Washington.

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